The stories we tell, the stories we live, reveal that while we have a common humanity, it is one which is kaleidoscopic in nature, with the slightest differences in personality and lived experiences giving birth to new insights and revelations on this journey of life.
For many of us, the stories of our past are extant in our present lives. What does it look like to go on a journey of new discovery, into the very depths of one’s soul?
To a place long ignored and unknown to many of us, but yet to a place where revelation begets healing, and healing, peace.
Many of us have tried to please others, or even asceticism, attempting to ingratiate ourselves with someone, only to find that person cannot give us the worth for which we long. Thankfully, the love of God is not a zero-sum game, but rather an eternal love that flows from the heart of the Heavenly Father, who loves His children with an everlasting love and draws them with lovingkindness. From the beginning of time until its consummation, His love is, was, and will always remain unchanged towards His sons and daughters; he is unmoved by the circumstances around us.
If we would simply draw near to the throne of grace, to which we are allowed, yes, even emboldened to come by the blood of Christ, we are assured of transformation. For Jesus Christ is not a fickle high priest, but a faithful One, who knows our frame intimately, even more so than we know ourselves. He is our advocate, our exponent, filled with inexorable love for His children.
The promises of God are not vain, but rather verity for us, truths of fundamental importance for our lives.
He will draw near to those who draw near to Him.
This is a fundamental truth, an eternal truth, a simple truth, yet lost in the busy-ness of this world as our affections toward Him are inundated with the sins which so easily distract.
He knows our tendencies, our wretchedness, our fears, our doubts, our longings, and our pain.
While He himself is not moved by fear, He is moved with compassion toward His children.
In Luke 15, when the son ‘came to himself’, he made a decision to turn toward home, hoping that he would be able to work as a servant in his father’s house. Yet, while on the way home, and still a long way off, his father saw him and began to run.
Allow me to pause here and say this: you don’t notice someone from a long way off unless you are actively looking for them. This father was not going about his daily business and then taken by surprise when his son arrived. He was actively looking for his beloved son. When he saw him, he didn’t wait for his son to arrive and grovel at his feet to earn forgiveness. No; he made himself vulnerable, he made himself of no reputation.
He ran to his son and embraced him…
before his son even had a chance to confess.
The son’s acknowledgement of wrong within his soul (and in essence before God), turning from his immoral ways, and turning toward his father, was the prerogative for the restoration of relationship between father and son.
It is also important to note that the Father didn’t grab his son and force him to return home without his consent. God is waiting, not forcing, but expectant. Was the joy set before Jesus a relationship not only with His heavenly Father, but also with us?
This is a story of who God was, who God is, and who God will be. His forgiveness allows us to be restored to relationship with him. God became vulnerable by taking on flesh in the person of Jesus Christ, and scorned the shame that came with his crucifixion on the cross, making a way for us to be made right with the Father. Your story is your own. It’s probably messy; it probably feels like it doesn’t fit. But it’s real, and it’s yours. The Father knows your story. He won’t force you to be intimate with Him, but He is inviting you to come to yourself, turn toward Him, and be embraced by Him so that you can tell your story and receive healing in His arms.
How do I even begin?
I feel so alone…
so unheard…
so unsafe.
You may have shared your story before and been rejected. You may sense that the people around you, your family, your co-workers, your friends even, are not ones who would listen. And you may be right. I have known this lack of intimacy in my life; I have cried out to God. I have been hurt and rejected by sharing too much with people. People who perhaps didn’t care, but perhaps weren’t malicious on purpose; maybe they have yet to examine their own hearts in such a way as to be able to sit with you and reflect on the love of Father.
Wood that has not yet been lit cannot provide warmth to those around it; so it is with persons yet transformed.
But let us be careful lest we judge, for perhaps they are just behind us on the journey. Perhaps, if we take a step of faith by sharing with them, we will find that they are near, beside us on this journey of healing, looking for someone to accompany them. And soon, we may even find others who are much farther down the road, who can carry us for a time when we are weary.
Where are these people, you may ask? How do I find one who would care for my soul in such a way? We all tread different paths on this journey; there is no formula. Yet, you must be willing to be misunderstood and rejected, even by those whom you think you know best, or by those in positions of spiritual authority who we think should be able to help bear our burdens, but yet cannot. The first steps of any journey are painful, a place where thoughts of the safety of the past, however unhealthy, beckons us to return. But even then, there may exist a latent hope, a hope that may be criticized, even benighted for a time, but yet not extinguished. Humility, though, is required; a brazen humility willing to embrace vulnerability by admitting brokenness. A willingness to press into deep relationship, not a settling for surface level relationships that are so common in our age. Letting ourselves feel deeply, whether it be deep pain from the brokenness of our childhood, or from a person we thought to be a friend who has rejected us, to sharing the depth of our pain with a mature person able to lead us into deeper communion with our soul so that we can experience Christ loving us in midst of our affliction and while we were yet sinners…could this be the crucible for this generation?
For you who have trusted in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, you are a beloved son, you are a beloved daughter of the Most High God. You do not need to be fixed; you are not a project to be renovated or just a person to be preached at; you are looking for someone to harken to the sound of your voice and be attuned to the longings of your soul. In that place of being accepted by God and others even in the midst of clear and visible weakness, may you find the courage to soar from that resting place, irradiating the glory of Christ in the midst of your generation.
Yes, you may experience hurtful blows from those hostile, or merely callous toward you, but there is a resting place for you…
a safe place where you can go…
and then rise yet again to fly.
